Let there be manners!

Ah, the joys of the community college.

I have a student in one of my classes who volunteered her age on the first day of class. She is, literally, twice my age, and is returning to school. This is fine. I can respect this. Unfortunately, she seems to have... ideas.

Let's begin with her paper, which is supposed to be a memory essay but turns out instead to be a sermon with all the references to a deity written in all capitals (except "Lord" interestingly enough) and her state of religious ecstasy described as "a plateau of realism." Really? So seeing God is like walking on a flat mountaintop surrounded by William Dean Howells? Who knew.

In addition to this well-intentioned but poorly wrought display of religiosity, I should describe to you her inability to tell the difference between discussing a text and criticizing the actions taken by the author of said text. I'm a bit afraid to put her in a workshop group, lest she try to cast out the demons of her partner.

But the straw that pushed her truly into the realm of the dreaded "omgyoumakemewanttoclawmyeyesouteverytimeIthinkaboutyourclass" student, was the following exchange:

Me, talking to another student who has an question: First I need you to look at pages 54 - 55, then -
Her: Ms. Rainykate, I was wondering why you go by Ms. instead of Mrs.
Me: *dumbfounded silent staring*
Other student: *annoyed eye rolling*
Me: Its just a choice, a personal one.
Her: Oh. I get it. Its private. *walks off*

Now, I am married, quite happily so, but in the classroom, in fact in all professional arenas, I feel much more comfortable going by Ms. I was truly indignant at this exchange, baffled as to why it mattered to her, and frustrated by the fact that, as her teacher, I could not provide her with the usual caustic response.

So, as those of you at universities sit around this evening, staring at the incomprehensible mess your 18 year olds have made of their papers, remember that at least they don't have ideals of religion and marriage that you need to live up to before you can be fully approved as an instructor.